But everyone around me seems to think I suck big ape dong. I have a hard time not absorbing everything people say. I feel very alone, very overwhelmed, very heartbroken. I want so badly to be needed and loved., but my flaws seem much larger than other people’s. I wish I were someone else. I wake up every morning promising myself not to make anyone upset today. I pray. I begin my rituals of the day. Then something bad happens and I give up. Why do I even try to interact with others when I fail so badly? It’s so much worse when it’s someone I love. I don’t want to be alone. I’m afraid of dying alone.