Ocdbloggergirl's Blog: OCD, Life, and Other Misunderstandings

More Mental Malaise, Less Donald Trump

Fate — November 23, 2013

Fate

Added to my regrettable poetry, this humble offering. My mother would have been 71 today, I sometimes find myself thinking on her birthday, that it isn’t fair she’s dead. I know, just look in a cemetery at all the young folks who croaked, but one can’t help how you feel sometimes.

Whoever said life’s not fair is right.

Trying to stay above water,

not give up the fight.

But the water is murky,

Try as we might,

some of us slip out of sight.

Left to our fate,

no one sees our plight.

Advertisements
Is That a Wal-Mart on the Way to Hell? — November 9, 2013

Is That a Wal-Mart on the Way to Hell?

Kinda sorta maybe wondering if I’m going to die like my mother did. I got a cold in early October and only got  over it after two weeks. But did I get over it? I was hoarse and sometimes still coughed. Now I’m coughing a lot more and feel a little bad. Maybe I just have another cold. Or AIDS. Or lung cancer. Or pneumonia waiting to poison my blood.

Someone once said I’d die by 48 if I kept eating the way I do. I’d write it off, but he did predict my mother’s death. He knew she was dying. He said to me as I visited him, “Are you and your mother OK? Have either of you been to the doctor?” “My mother has a cold is all,” I said. I’m sure he sensed a death imminent. I caught my mother’s cold. My mother, however, was dead within a couple of weeks of sepsis from pneumonia. Coincidence maybe, but he had predicted things to me several times before. I’m only 35 now, heading fast for 36.

I did something bad the other day, and maybe karma is about to bitch slap me for it. I was at Wal-Mart with my friend one night and after dark is when things at Wal-Mart get all peopleofwalmart.com. As I looked for cans of Friskies and cat litter, a couple came up to me. They reeked of cigarette smoke, even the woman who appeared pregnant ( but hey, my mother smoked while I was in the oven and look how great I turned out!).

“Oh we hate to  ask you this, it’s soooo embarrassing but we’re stuck here and we’re out of gas. All we have is a Wal-Mart gift card for $100.00 that my mom gave us to come visit her, but the Wal-Mart gas station is closed. We’ll sell you our gift card for $60.00 and prove it’s got  a 100.00 balance on our phone,” said the distressed damsel. Then she reiterated how embarrassing it all was.

I knew they wanted drugs. I knew the Murphy gas station was wide open at 9 pm and were it not, the gift card might be usable there anyway at the pump. I also knew that the balance on the gift card really was $100.00 because they let me hear the balance on their phone. I looked through my purse, had $49.00 in cash and bought it for that amount. Maybe they really needed help. Or maybe I just  helped a mom  make her kid a crack baby. I’d probably still buy that gift card if they approached me again since I don’t really know, which makes me scared I’ve become a terrible human being deserving death.

Other than me possibly dying and ending up on a permanent vacation in a much hotter climate, I’m OK. How are you?

 

The realist

When your brain realize what life is all about

Let's Queer Things Up!

Queer/trans identity. mental health. cats.

A Southern Writer

From the pen of an observer of life in the south.

The Bloggess

Bizarre thoughts from author Jenny Lawson - Like Mother Teresa, only better.

Duplicate My Success

How to be successful in internet marketing.

Signs of a Gay Husband by Debra Sutton

Identifying Closeted Gay Husband Behaviors

Lucky Otters Haven

Ruminations, ramblings, and rants about narcissism and trauma, politics, human nature, religion, pop culture, and almost everything else

Robot Troubles

Science Fiction and other literary tales from the mind of author George Pappas

Silent-ology

Uncovering the silent era

Confessions of a Heroin Addict

Just another WordPress.com site

Kitt O'Malley

Love, Learn & Live with Bipolar Disorder

Kitten Holiday

Plays, Stories, Essays

Anastasia Writes

politics, engineering, parenting, relevant things over coffee.

HASTYWORDS

Turning Tears & Laughter into Words

The Boeskool

Jesus, Politics, and Bathroom Humor...

Skinny and Single

Single and Almost 50 and Not Suicidal About It

Scobleizer

Spatial Computing Catalyst 👓

Blues Legend

Blues Legend Film

The Charlottesville 29

If there were just 29 restaurants in Charlottesville, what would be the ideal 29?

A Buick in the Land of Lexus

fresh hell trumps stale heaven

emma reads

books + nefarious plots

Step Into The Nightmare

... because a problem shared is your problem now

lynz real cooking

Author blogger mom of nine

William Chasterson

Examination of the makeup of the human ego and its predictable results.

Elliesofia Thompson

In my mind's eye ...

All Mouth, No Spoons

The life and times of a married, foul-mouthed borderline twenty-something. Like my disorder, posts will always vary!

thesixfootbonsai

The story of a stunted white pine

promisesunshine

Just another WordPress.com site

Read at Midnight

where words light up the night

Bipolar Bandit

If you want to know more about bipolar disorder, other mental illnesses and/or mental health advocacy, you are in the right place.

Perfect Isn't Easy

Life Is A Daily Struggle For Perfection

Jon Rappoport's Blog

NoMoreFakeNews.com

Ted's Adventures in WiFi

Life, reality, and the pursuit of fun

avocadosucker

don't make people feel bad about something they genuinely love

The Macabre Author

Scaring the world, one story at a time.

My Daily Struggles

I am going to make my way in this blog on a metaphorical bridge of thoughts and perceptions from day to day to try to connect the known with the yet unknown. My bridge is like a single plank which will require the supplement of others.

Words and Notion

Words Whipping up Whimsical Waves of Notion

Rational Thinking Web

Live A Life You Will Remember

Blogging Astrid

A Dutch Woman Blogs in English

Behind The Glass

Often times we think we are looking through a window, but we are actually looking at a mirror.

Knowing the Narcissist

Read and understand all about narcissists from the best source possible. A narcissist himself.

Autistic Alex

Blogging about neurodiversity, psychology and autism research.

busy mockingbird

a messy collection of art projects, crafts, and various random things...

deconstructingdoctor.com

a peek behind the curtain

%d bloggers like this: