What People Don’t Understand About Being a Mental Midget.

I feel things more than ‘normal’ people do. You might think it’s hilarious to pick on said person, to block them on social media for the laughs, and enjoy their subsequent meltdown. When you’re by turns dependent and avoidant, the rejection is overwhelming. The avoidant side is telling me , ‘See no one really likes you’ while the dependent wonders what I’ll do without them. I feel like this is what will happen anytime I start to love people, that my imperfections and toxicity are too much. I ask the God who took away my family, gave me one friend who half the time puts me down, and now makes me suffer at the hands of people I thought cared about me, why?

I’d have done anything for them.

One thought on “What People Don’t Understand About Being a Mental Midget.

  1. Everyone is imperfect. Every thing in the universe is imperfect. If you can ease up the self-criticism I think you will find that people treat you better. If you wear a sign saying “I’m not worthy of love but please, please, love me anyway!” that tends to be a magnet for people whose insecurity drives them to put other people down. If you wear a sign that says “I am what I am and fuck those who can’t take it” its more likely to attract respect.

    I can see that breaking free of the self-criticism is a challenge though. No good fighting it. Then you’ll be criticising yourself for criticising yourself, which would be silly. But maybe you can let the self-critical thoughts flow through you and out of you.

    Like

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