FI think it’s been 48 hours now and no call. I’m tooo scared to call them and I’m too afraid to say anything to my only friend too.
I wouldn’t mind dropping dead or going to sleep forever, but the thought of suffering an extended illness is terrifying. I can see it within the realm of possibilities that if I get bad results, they’ll pass me off to a nephrologist, urologist, or oncologist before ever saying a word to me. That’s how they referred me to the radiologist, without a single word. Just someone from radiology called me with a referral.
She hasn’t contacted me. Even if she did realize she might have overreacted a bit, and I’m not sure she has come to that conclusion, she never apologizes. Being completely friendless with no family is no way to live. Yet somehow I still want to live. I ALMOST want to tell her she’s a miserable fucking cunt for calling me a retard and telling me that I will have no friends left in this life. Is she wanting me to die? . If only people knew the things she said. She’s actually said worse to me over the years:
Said I belonged at Auschwitz ( because she thought I was mentally challenged).
Threatened to throw me out of the car on a dark deserted road (Likely wouldn’t have).
Said my mom’s death was because I didn’t take her temperature.
I still want her back though.