Meh

Some of my earliest memories are of rejection. I don’t recall a time in my life when I was fully accepted. What I don’t understand, however, is my inability to not care. You’d think after a lifetime of people thinking poorly of me and even being on guard for the inevitable, my emotions would scab over.

I want to be needed by someone. To be liked if I can’t be loved. To at least be tolerated if not cherished. To be wondered about if I fell off the earth. My body is too thick, however, and my mind too dense.

2 thoughts on “Meh

  1. I think that being accepted is a basic need. Accepting ourselves unconditionally can make us more resilient to other’s reaction to us, but it is much easier to generate that acceptance if we have the example of acceptance from others. You put yourself forward, at least on the net, so that you have the chance of receiving some of that acceptance. It’s a battle you haven’t retreated from. Perhaps you can give yourself credit for that. The important thing is to recognise that the reasons for another’s rejection often lie more with them than with you. It is a common character flaw to be blocked by trivialities from accepting what is of value in someone else.

    Liked by 1 person

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