I almost went to an OCD support group today, but I got on the wrong bus. I was almost relieved. You can’t be disliked if no one knows you’re alive. There’s a voice in my head, not an actual hallucination as it comes from me, that tells me “Everyone hates you. You won’t make any friends ever. You’re fat and ugly, and you have a shitty personality.” You know me, always big with the Daily Affirmations.

Even on social media: “People think you’re shit. You’re boring as fuck. Stop pretending you’ll ever amount to anything.” My mind,just gallons of charm. Even when I see neighbors: “They all hope you get evicted. They think you’re ‘special.’ Please step on a land mine.” Fun.

Anyway, in case you weren’t here in 2011, this is me reading posts about the death of my mother.

One thought on “

  1. You can always get the right bus next time. At least at an OCD support group there is a chance that some people will relate to your experiences. Of course you’ll probably meet some irritable people too, but look at it this way – is anyone going to have a more negative attitude toward you than you already have, some of the time, toward yourself? And these groups do have rules to minimise the potential for members to make other members feel bad. And if you hate it, you don’t have to go back.

    Liked by 1 person

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