My brain feels a bit foggy. Hopefully this is a temporary thing. While I’m trying to pass it off as merely sepsis, early onset dementia, and/or Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, I am concerned my brain is just gourded. I am doing better, so that’s a problem. Maybe I’m just nervous. Even with three psychotropic drugs in my system, I still imagine disaster around the corner. A spark in the back of my brain always feels unease. Sometimes it’s just an ember barely glowing, sometimes it’s five alarm….but the point is, it never really leaves. A friend says she wouldn’t want anything in her system that messes with her personality. “But I’m doing better. Can’t you see?” is my response. People just can’t get it. I’m sick, but I can’t get rid of it with just a case of the runs. There’s things I find difficult to discuss verbally. My compulsions are hidden from view, but I’m always doing them. And they’re an iota better! One less step in something plotted out in tens of steps. You might ask me what I’m doing, as I appear to be non-productive, but I can’t explain how I get stuck in my rituals. I honestly don’t know how to conduct myself without them, but a little relief to me is a big thing.
At least I can still write semi-coherent sentences.
Ocdbloggergirl's Blog: OCD, Life, and Other Misunderstandings 
Lisa if I could write half as well as you I’d be more than happy. Brain things are gard to fathom …belueve me I cared fir my husband Jan for years with his brain danage but you are truly amazing and I can inagine yiur stuggke but tiu copw so keep on coping. Loafs of people will never “get you” but that’s their loss. Jan’s brain problem taught me so much about empathy and real understanding of how otherr people have to live with the hand they are dealt. It’s not fair but it’s just how it is. I so enjoy reading your blog. In fact it sometimes makes me think it’s my brain that feel foggy…not yours.
❤
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See iI orgot to correct as my phone rang lolol. I’m sure you’ll work it out.
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Lolol and more errors. See I told you it’s me that has brain fog ❤
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understand! thanks always, celt!!!!
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Medication can help, and it sounds as if you are experiencing that a little bit at least. There is no magic pill that makes all the worrying disappear, but it can help to give you a sense that things can be better. The thing with anxiety is that it is easy to end up viewing it as a problem to be solved by thinking about it more. That doesn’t help. When we feel it we have to accept that that is how we feel at the moment. What can, eventually, make it die down is to keep on as if we weren’t feeling it until life proves that our premonitions of disaster where unfounded. And you do write well. Keep standing up to life by turning what it throws at you into words.
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Lisa,
If medication and rituals help you to get through the day, then I don’t see any problem with you carrying on both. The problem is only when both of these things take over every part of your day, rendering you useless for productive life and happiness. The balance between the two is very important. Take care… and one day at a time eh?
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