Yes. Get a grip. Must rally. I spoke to my nurse. She was pretty oh boy ad nauseam but she did get me to calm down. I got to get back into a routine. Of course I’ll check on Giselle later. She’s going through some shit. I will try to be everything to everybody. I will try to be more like my mom. I will try to tell  my depression that I will stay up awake so Giselle won’t be able to sling that at me. I will be so likeable and so sans reproach that no one will ever dislike me or look down on me again. I will force myself to be worthy of everyone or die trying.

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