200mg. I definitely can tell the difference. My mother said angrily “Shit, I’ll lock the car later!” She was in a hurry to see her favorite show and I was trying to like something on Facebook with my new phone before I got out. “Be right there…” wasn’t good enough for Mommie Dearest. I wasn’t angry…I was enraged. Of course I had pledged to do everything just right this month. The 1st had gone OK, but today I had FAILED! Everything was ruined in my mind because my mom had got mad at me, but instead of getting mad at myself alone, I signaled in on my mother (I think I’m still mad about it really, though this is irrational).

My mom had gone inside. I got out of the car and started locking the doors on our fangled car manually, all the time saying “fucking bitch!” I hope no one heard me. Upon entering the apartment I slammed the door as hard as I could.

“What?” said my mom. She sometimes forgets that I ride the short bus.

“You were mad at me! You were like ‘Shit! I’ll lock the doors later!'”

“Well, I didn’t know you’d get that upset! I’ll lock the doors when I take out the trash.”

“I locked the doors.” Wow mental midgets can do things for themselves! Who the fuck knew?

Back to my room. Slammed door, hit the wall. “Fucking bitch !” again. Threw something. Princess Malcontent.

To my horror, I realized i brought my mom’s soda in with mine and forgot I was carrying it. Literally. I made rudimentary efforts at cleaning my floor and throwing away ruined books. I may fish them out of the trash and try to clean them when I give a fuck again and will try to clean the floor again. I hope my mom didn’t hear me call her a fucking bitch. I tried to explain it’s the lowered Luvox and my perfectionism.

Seriously, I planned to not make anyone mad at me and be perfect and worthy of living this month. FAIL!

I’m the fucking bitch and I just cant stop trying to be perfect and exploding when I’m not.