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Dear Myself,

Did I ever tell you how much I hate you sometimes and how the world wouldn’t miss out on much if you were ran over by a bus? It isn’t all the time I hate you, but you know I’ve never been a fan of you. You disgust me in every way possible and you’re a terrible bitch. You destroy everything you put your hand to and it’s a pity you are alive.

But I know you better than anyone. Admitting you think this about yourself makes you worry God will grant your wish and you’ll die, so I can only surmise you don’t actually want to die. So I guess you will stay alive, but if it were a just world, your vile and disgusting tongue would fester and fall out of your mouth. Now that you say that, you’re a bit worried God will give you oral cancer as punishment for thinking it. I wish you’d make up your mind, stupid fuck. You can’t ever make up your mind about anything because you were given the brain of a goldfish.

This time I refuse to forgive you, Lisa, but when have I ever forgiven you for anything? You try to be a nice person, but if you were a nice person you wouldn’t get that angry at your mother. You only really get angry at her and yourself, but we all know it’s mainly it’s yourself you’re mad at. You try never to get angry, to always be good, and you fucking fail. FUCKING FAIL! I seriously hate you.

You always worry about saying or doing something  that will hurt people, but do you think your mom isn’t worthy of a similar fear? Lisa, you’re a terrible, fucking bitch for calling your mom one. I don’t know if she heard you call her a fucking bitch, she probably did, but even if she didn’t it’s irrelevant. She didn’t deserve it, you fucking bitch.

Look, Lisa, I know you’d never hit your mom or anyone else, that you’d never want to inflict pain on someone except yourself, but didn’t you mumble something like, “If I could smack you…” and I’m certain your mother didn’t hear it, but you still said it kind of, which makes it the same, and I refuse to forgive you. I hate you,Lisa. I seriously fucking hate you. She didn’t deserve to have a child like you.

So when your mother said she hated Christmas it was because of you, and  then you thought you hated Christmas too because you won’t be able to think of it without hearing her saying that BECAUSE OF YOU, you fucking fat fuck. I hate Christmas and I hate you even more, Lisa. And you start feeling mad at your Mom again for saying that, which is your own fucking fault, bitch. Bitch! Bitch! Fucking worthless bitch.

Regards,

Lisa

OK I feel better now. I just had to confess what I said today. It would seem dishonest if I didn’t tell you about how awful I can be. I have a terrible temper when it comes to myself screwing something up. It’s funny because people can do whatever they want to me and I take it as my due, my temper not flaring at all. But if I mess up, or perceive my mom is criticizing me it’s like I go into a rage because I’m trying so hard to do everything perfectly.

 

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