Faux Pas a le Wanker et La Douche Terrible du Fail Epic d’ Defense

Hi,

This post  was started last night, before being assured people don’t think I think they’re wankers, but  I like the title and was almost done with the post, so here it is…

.Oops, went and offended folks. Meant well. But did it anyway.  They seem to think I think they’re wankers and now they think I’m a douche no doubt. I feel reallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy bad.

La Douche Terrible feels culpable if someone she knows is getting beat up, and well, La Douche Terrible  made terrible  douchiness on le blog of other bloggers and made le fail epic at defending someone. La Douche Terrible  decided she was Jeanne ‘d le Fucking Arc, mounted her white steed, and chargeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Et hit a wall. Le ouch.  Fin.

"Want a piece of me? Here I come!....Non!!! Oops, there I went. Ouch! I want mon maman, s'il vous plait."

Going to be honest here. The person I defended has always been cordial to me. That’s reason one.   Reason two, I genuinely like his writings and was terribly sorry anyone made  him feel bad. Reason three, however, definitely goes to Team OCD. I feel a need to atone for whatever reason made him unsubscibe from my blog. Did I offend him? What did he find objectionable about my writing, or me for that matter?  Was it ’cause I’m mental? I cuss like a dockside prostitute in my writing? My writing is lacking? I’m boring? My writing is too long?

Reminds me of  when I was in college.  To pass expository writing, you had to have an essay examined by 3 teachers and if 2 out of 3 passed you, you passed the class.  I  passed by 2 out of 3, but did I care? I was too busy wondering why the enigmatic third teacher failed me. I probably could easily tell you why  now if I saw it, but I don’t have it and I don’t even remember what the essay was about, just that it was timed and they gave you the topic. I’m lousy at anything timed,  deadlines, etc. I passed classes like geology and math by the teachers liking me….I was less socially anxious in those days. I was good at logic I remember, but numbers and I are bitter enemies.  I think  my geology paper was on tsunamis or something like that and my teacher liked it because I wrote it in a “creative” way, replete with the word, “treatise” in the title, and he never gave it back to me. My geology teacher and I had a similar outlook on life and he sort of adopted me…..Dude knew what I was thinking most of the time, plus sort of looked out for me because he knew I was a tad more delicate than my peers. To this day, I believe he was the only person who really “got me.”

My math teacher was a crotchety older man and this woman in class  wanted to get him fired. I knew she was a nasty person, a slithery snake of  a woman with fire engine red hair.  And she latched onto me. I could sense she had a personality disorder , I just knew it.  She approached me, got me to sit with her near the elevator and told me what she planned. I forget her exact words  but she would talk about how basically she and I were smarter than everyone else, more artistic.  You and me,  us against them, we’re better than they are was the jist of her conversation. ” I’ve gone to a university, and I know how a class is supposed to be.”  Well, why are you at a community college,  I wanted to ask, but she was around 50 years of age, so perhaps she returned to school.  She would ask me if I know what such and such meant a couple of times.  “Yes,” I replied. ” That’s because you’re smart. ” And she told me how she was going to talk to the dean and get the man fired. Now may it be said I didn’t particularly love said math teacher, but get him fired? I knew it wasn’t because I was smarter, more likely I could be easily manipulated. I look kind of dumb, my voice is child-like,  and a bit on the super gullible side, but I wasn’t quite as ignorant as she thought.

I rushed to my geology teacher almost in in tears and let him know the nefarious plot against his fellow professor just because she didn’t like him. I thought if I let her do it and so unfairly, plus his age might be against him finding another teaching job, it would all be my fault. So my geology professor warned him of psycho-broad and to watch out. I couldn’t warn him myself, no way! So thank God for my geology professor, my protector.

Well, the psycho-broad, was given to towards thinking herself above everyone and anyone, the perfect narcissist. I wish they could bottle that sort of self-confidence and give me a prescription for the amount in her pinky, but it was this superiority that proved to be her downfall. Psycho-Broad marched herself to the dean’s office and when asked if she had an appointment, she told the receptionist she was a friend of his. Needless to say, the dean was not amused. They had words and in the end she was asked to leave the college for good. How many people can brag that they got expelled from a community college? Obviously  she could. The dean perhaps had been appraised of the situation beforehand, but anyway she now was gone and I got thanked by my math teacher. No one thought bad of me. I think  even other students disliked her. I think I did the right thing, I hope. I didn’t want anyone to get in trouble.

I really did try in that math class, but I still wonder if my grade was pushed up a couple points from D to C.

(Image above was taken from nndb.com w/o permission)